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Samantha Koortyn
03-27-2006, 01:46 PM
Southerner's mail after joining the Marines



Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late.

Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, and stuff, but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat.

The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in little metal boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. He joined up the same time as me. But I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,
Gail

Jola'Edana Kahlid
03-27-2006, 01:49 PM
*dies* :rofl

Davin Corros
03-27-2006, 01:49 PM
HAHAHAHA!

I totally didn't see the ending coming :D.

Thanks, Sam.

Jerva Kutac
03-27-2006, 02:04 PM
That's funny.

Cyan Madine
03-27-2006, 02:39 PM
Hahahaha.

Matheron Thayer
03-27-2006, 04:16 PM
Love it :D.

Augustus Malevolyn
03-28-2006, 02:55 AM
*L* For a minute I was convinced it said son instead of daughter but I had to take a second look...


nice

Han Antilles
03-28-2006, 12:33 PM
And to believe I moved down here...

swaq
03-28-2006, 01:20 PM
Hahahahaha, that's awesome. I didn't see the ending coming either. I got slightly suspicious at the height/weight part though...

Haika Vibrose
03-28-2006, 04:57 PM
HAHAHAHAHA! *dies*

Jerva Kutac
03-28-2006, 05:48 PM
Hahahahaha, that's awesome. I didn't see the ending coming either. I got slightly suspicious at the height/weight part though...

I know a guy that really is that short and he actually joined the marines.

Davin Corros
03-28-2006, 05:55 PM
Yeah--I knew a guy in my karate class... he wasn't marines, but he said that when he was in the Army he was part of some special Army program for making the equivalent of the Navy Seals... I believed him, too.

His reflexes were freakishly fast, he was really strong, and his balance was even better than mine was. This guy was one of those people who could stand on top of a ball and maintain his balance with no problem without even needing the little plastic ring thing to hold the ball in place.

All that, and he was maybe.... 6'4"ish if that, and pretty thin. I was about 135ish pounds and I think he only weighed a little more than me--on him it was muscle :p.

Samantha Koortyn
03-28-2006, 07:24 PM
Taking karate at a young age helps balance very well. I still benefit from it.

Ballet works too. Not that I ever took that. Or tap dancing...